The Unofficial South Park Drinking Game
By Vince Yim (vinceyim@unixg.ubc.ca)

Disclaimer: I do not advocate the mass consumption of alcohol in such a manner. If you are willing to sit with your buddies with a complete collection of South Park episodes on tape and do all of these actions through the course of every single episode, you will DIE from alcohol poisoning. If you die as a result of this, itís your own damn fault (although it would be funny, especially if the guy who dies happens to be named Kenny). If youíre old enough to drink, you should be responsible enough to know when to stop.

And remember. Just because you just turned legal drinking age and youíre now able to drink it doesnít necessarily mean that you should.

Drink Once (sip):

 -Stan, Kyle, or Cartman use the words "dude", "sweet", or "kickass"
 -Stan pukes near or on Wendy (just drink once during the "barf montage" flashback during "Tomís Rhinoplasty")
 -Cartman says "Iím not fat, Iím <insert euphemism for fat here>"
 -Somebody laughs after Kenny says something funny/intelligent/sexist/dirty
 -Kenny has to explain something (ie: what a vas difrens is)
 -Kyle or Stan slowly pronounces a long-ish word (ie: "I got these killer Birk-en-stocks")
 -Kyle or Stan mispronounces a long-ish word (ie: hermaphrodite à hermaphalite)
 -Stan says, "This is pretty <bleep> up right here."
 -Somebody says something that has to be bleeped out
 -Somebody farts and everybody laughs (this step is optional during Episode #200: "Not Without My Anus")
 -Somebody says a euphemism for farting, feces, or diarrhea (ie: "Somebodyís baking brownies", "mookie sticks", or "I got the green apple splatters")
 -Terence & Phillip use the word "dick"
 -Someone gets rochambeaued (kicked in the groin)
 -A reference to a washed up film/music performer is made (ie: Tina Yothers, Loverboy)
 -A reference to a long-cancelled television show is made
 -Adult characters refuse to explain something to the kids (ie: "I'm not touching that with a 40 foot pole")
 -Uncle Ned and Jimbo kill something (or someone)
 -A major celebritiy gets killed
 -Mr. Garrison proves how inept he is at teaching
 -Somebody accuses Mr. Garrison of being gay
 -Special toast to Kenny's gratuitous death scene.

Drink Twice (gulp):

 -Stan says something offensive to Ms. Crabtree and corrects himself (ie: "Weíre always running late you ugly skank" à "I said I canít wait to own a fishing tank")
 -Jimbo says something through his Cancer Kazoo (only sip during "Volcano")
 -Cartman makes a nasty crack towards Kenny, prompting Kenny to punch Cartman in the head
 -Chef sings one of his songs about sex
 -Pip says "Iíll pay $50 for one."
 -Someone else other than Terence & Phillip use the word "dick" (only once for the phone conversation between Scott and Terence)
 -Kenny does something with a phallic-shaped object (ie: giving Miss Ellen the "scrumptious looking sausage")
 -Stan, Cartman, and Kyle show callous attitudes regarding Kenny's death ("Howabout some ice cream?")
 -Mr. Garrison says "You go to hell!  You go to hell and you die!"
 -Mr. Garrison shows off his homosexual tendencies ("We're trapped like sailors on a submarine.")

Slam It (drain):

 -Kenny DOESNíT die (wait until the end of the episode)
 -The word "bitch" is used more than 20 times over the course of a minute
 -Stan doesn't correct himself after saying something nasty to Mrs. Crabtree


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Big fat-assed disclaimer: South Park and all related characters are trademarked and copyrighted.  I'm not too sure who owns the copyright (it's either Comedy Central or Trey Parker and Matt Stone), but at any rate, they're copyrighted.  Images have been used without permission, but have only been used for review purposes, so PUH-lease treat the images with respect.